ICE

I was recently visiting my mom in Iowa.  I was looking through her phone for a number and saw this:

ICE Jon

Me (completely serious and confused): Mom, who is this ICE Jon?  Do you have a special person who delivers ice to your house? 

I am currently thinking that is is pretty cool and wondering if lots of people have "ice" men.  I am always behind the curve and my mom is almost always "in the know".  Perhaps this is a new thing?

Mom (looking at me like I am crazy): Don't you have an ICE person?

Me (feeling silly, but not exactly sure why): No....

Mom (exasperated): Well you should! Who would they call In Case of Emergency?

Me (it finally clicking): OH! So you don't actually have a person named Jon bringing ice?

Mom  - shakes her head and wonders how she got a clueless daughter like me.

Oh Yeah...

Context: Husband is transferring all our CDs to the computer.

Me: Wow, this CD has all my favorite songs on it!!

Husband: That is because I made it for you for Valentines Day.

Me: oh yeah.....

School

Due to the extreme heat, we have been watching marathons of Cake Boss.  One of Buddy's favorite phrases is "that how you do it old school style!". 

 This must have been vexing my eight year old because he just asked "where is this old school, anyway?"

Needed: A New Metaphor

While vacationing on Lake Michigan, my mother-in-law rushed in to describe the night sky: "The stars look like the pimples on a teenage girl!"

 What?!

Double Take

Last week my Girl Scout troop had their cookie booth. For some reason, we ended up in north St. Louis City in a very urban area. The booth was going fine, but then I look out into the parking lot and see a man riding a horse. This was completely out of context. He just kept riding the horse around the parking lot and in the streets. People just stared, the security guards didn't know what to do. So we all just watched in disbelief.

Doing Without

Our microwave broke a couple of weeks ago. Since I am not that huge a fan of them, I haven't really been that interested in getting a new one. Evidently the true magnitude of life without a microwave was brought home to my 7 year old the other night (when I was out). To quote him on the necessity of getting a new one:

"We couldn't even make our burritos!!!!"

Well, if that is the case, I guess we better get a new microwave right away!

Progress

We had a very lively guest speaker in class last night. My favorite comment of his (regarding plans for the city):

"That is nothing a few good funerals couldn't fix."

I am totally going to use that someday.

Security Guard

Every time I drive into the parking garage at SLU, I think that the security guard must have the dullest job. They sit in a glass box and just watch people come and go. They don't take tickets and there is no computer to waste time with. They literally just sit there. I don't know how they don't fall asleep.

I have also noticed that these parking garages are definitely not mini-van friendly. It is a tight squeeze. One of my new classes is across campus, so I am parking in a different garage. I am pretty sure that I made the security guards night last night.

As I am pulling up to the gate, I make a sharp turn and immediately my back tire bumps into the median curb - I can't pull forward. I think, "fine, I will just back up and straighten the van out so I can go through." I start to back up and then me front tire hits it and I can't move anymore without some serious damage. So I pull forward and my back tire hits. I am sure you can see where this is going. The WHOLE time the security guard is just watching me and trying to stifle his laugh as I am going back and forth. It was mortifying. It took me a solid five minutes (of sheer embarrassment) to finally maneuver the van so I could get through the gate without hitting the median.

I am glad I made someone's night a little more enjoyable.

Imagination

Bedtime
L: Mom, can you please lay down with me?
Me: Why? M is in there with you.
L: I'm afraid.
Me: M will protect you.
L: No she won't. She looks wierd. I think she is going to steal me.
Me: Steal you?
L: Yes!!
Me: Well if she is going to steal you, she would just give you to me.
-------------
Me: M, L thinks you are going to steal him.
M: Why?
Me: I don't know.
M: If I stole him, I would just give him to you.

Touche.

rapture (not the Blondie Song)

It was an average Sunday morning. I was cleaning up the kitchen while the kids and Husband were finishing breakfast at the table. I had just opened up the fridge when all of a sudden I see Husband lurch forward in his chair and grab the sides of the table. With a panicked look on his face he asked if we had felt that. The kids and I look at each other and then him and say "nooo..." (all of us wondering if he was going crazy). My mind immediately thought that maybe we had another earthquake and I just didn't feel it - which seemed unlikely. I asked Husband what he meant. He looked at us like we were crazy and said, "didn't you feel like you were being sucked down?" Well, um, no. He said that for a minute it felt like he was being raptured (this from a devout agnostic). I noted that if it was the rapture, he was headed the wrong way.