rapture (not the Blondie Song)

It was an average Sunday morning. I was cleaning up the kitchen while the kids and Husband were finishing breakfast at the table. I had just opened up the fridge when all of a sudden I see Husband lurch forward in his chair and grab the sides of the table. With a panicked look on his face he asked if we had felt that. The kids and I look at each other and then him and say "nooo..." (all of us wondering if he was going crazy). My mind immediately thought that maybe we had another earthquake and I just didn't feel it - which seemed unlikely. I asked Husband what he meant. He looked at us like we were crazy and said, "didn't you feel like you were being sucked down?" Well, um, no. He said that for a minute it felt like he was being raptured (this from a devout agnostic). I noted that if it was the rapture, he was headed the wrong way.

Chairs

I was talking to my MIL the other day. Her mother is approaching ninety and has the typical health problems of a near ninety year old. Grandma recently had an incident involving a family heirloom - a rocking chair. She is fine, as is the chair. Since we were on the subject, MIL asked if I knew what grandma wanted to do with the chair when she died. Now - I was very tired, my allergies were really bothering me, and we were headed to the mall (my least favorite place) - so I wasn't thinking so clearly. I wracked my brain for possible ideas and all I could think of was (and this came out of my mouth): She wants to be buried in it?

As I was saying it, I knew it was the wrong call. But how can you stop it? The statement had a life of its own. You don't joke about death with the lady's daughter! But, really, it wasn't a joke. I seriously couldn't think of anything else to say. Another simultaneous thought (thank God I didn't say this out loud), was: can they make a grave big enough for a rocking chair? how do they position the body in it?

MIL gave me a strange look and said, "no, she wants to give it to your son." Well, obviously I was VERY off base.